I tell Kitty about overhearing Lizzy and her Sapphire mate Charlotte
talking about Jane and Bingley. Lizzy was saying that Jane was ‘in a way to
being very much in love’ (yay!) and that it was a good thing no-one would
guess, as Jane didn’t show her feelings much.
Charlotte was like, ‘if she
conceals her affection from him, though, she may lose the opportunity of fixing
him! A woman had better show more affection than she feels!’
I couldn’t help thinking some of what she said was about her own pash for
Lizzy, poor loser.
Lizzy was like, ‘If I were
determined to get a rich husband, or any husband, I’d do that, but Jane is not
acting by design, she wants to be sure of her feelings and him before she lets
on’.
Charlotte was like, ‘Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of
chance. It’s better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person
with whom you are to pass your life.’
I thought, bitter, much? But then even though it wasn’t useful or
important, I found myself doing a bit of like, profiling of Charlie. Pretty
poor prospect for her really, being how she is. She’s supposed to get married,
if you’re not into guys, that’d be a pretty awful prospect. As well as Pa’s
porn, I’ve seen the cows and the poultry mating on the farm, eeeuuuwww! and as
for childbirth! Mrs Long’s sister died last month after three days screaming in
agony while something the size of a small house tried to force its way out of
her innards... no wonder Charlotte wears brown and scrapes her hair back! But
if she doesn’t get married that’s like an epic fail for a girl, you end up as a
burden on your relatives and mocked by all and sundry. Some choice! Especially
if you don’t fancy men. Where’s she going to find lady-love out here in the
sticks? What are the chances of another similarly inclined, as Lizzy would put
it if she had any idea such a thing as Sapphireism existed. (All the time she’s
spent in Pa’s library, she’s never noticed anything really interesting.) Either
way, the whole marriage thing sucks big time for her, well all of us laydeez,
really. But we soldier on... or I’d like to, geddit?!
Lizzy was just laughing though, all those brains Pa goes on about and her
emotional IQ is like, zero. ‘Oh Charlotte,’ she goes, ‘you make me laugh! You
know it is not sound, you’d never act that way yourself!’
So you see, as I told Kitty, Lizzy and Jane are hopeless romantics, and
hopeless in all sorts of other ways too, and things are looking up!
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